This decision is hard. A lot harder than I thought it would be. I played this game with emotion. Maybe too much of it. But a month out of the game knocked
the anger out of me. Temporarily. I didn't want to even do jury statements, because I assumed Jeremiah would take the opportunity to argue with me, and
I didn't want to fight. I said I was reading the answers with an open mind. And I was. More or less. But I also knew that Ed was smart, and that Ed had to
have played a good game to get there, when he had way less in the way of support. I knew it would take an outstanding jury session from Jeremiah and a bad
one by Ed to make a difference. Jeremiah went in with significant strikes against him. A rather irritating character. A seemingly below average social game; (not only myself, but Dom, Cecily, Ed, and people as far back as Hero and Colin weren't happy with his conversations.) The fact that I couldn't see that he had really done much other than attach himself to the first alliance he saw online. And he wasn't even that loyal to them; offering to accuse Kitty and nominating Martin even well before he learned Martin had final 2's with Ed and Jay both.
Combine that with the fact that I had been told that, last season, his jury answers were pretty much less than impressive, and honestly, whether I planned to vote on game play or not, there wasn't a BIG chance I'd waver. Was there?
But, overall, Jeremiah had great answers. I underestimated him a great deal. And I know he had a game plan, a strategy. Maybe it wasn't the strategy I'd have
purposely chosen coming into the game, (although it did end up being similar to what I ended UP with... haha) but it was there. Massive points for the
answers. Other than using wayyyyy too many letttters and saying 'deffo' both of which made me cringe, the entire game; he barely resembled the airheaded
bitch of a character that I battled here. And in a way that wasn't fake or sucking up, which I would have hated and would have totally out of character.
Not only that, but even though I didn't LIKE it that he won the battle against me.. he did. And maybe, I should reward that.
Ed, meanwhile, lost a few points in a couple of his answers. My most frustrating moment in this game, possibly, was the week of the posting HOH. I felt
completely unable to do anything, for an HOH I really wanted and needed. I stayed around for a good part of the weekend, in case. And Omar was outgoing HOH,
Dominic wasn't able to compete and Cecily had no computer. Ed was all I had. And he purposely kept me from winning. I still had ways to save myself that
week, and people that cared to keep me. So I didn't go. But at the time I felt sure that I would have. I had justified the move of Ed bringing Fantine back,
exactly the way he explained it. Omar might turn on him, and it would keep Dom and myself closer to Ed. But that? That stung. Not only that but it made his
comments that his goal the week Fantine came back was 'to keep Sera safe' make no sense. Since he kept me from winning on purpose, giving Jer the ability
to nominate me. That was the week the HOH nominated three people, so he can't tell me it benefited him, either, as I wouldn't nominate him OR Cecily, AND
Jeremiah would have been my target, not his new ally Martin. So, yeah. That's hard to take.
I'd also like to state here that his comments on my game play downright irritated me. I have no doubt that Ed LIKED me a lot more than Jeremiah did. And
that's great. But, by going on and on and on about how flawed my game was, it is clear that he didn't have a lot of respect for me as a player. And he
posted that publically, so that HIS perspective is the one left in everyone's minds.
"When things didn't go her way, she got emotional and would almost give up instead of continuing to fight."
The first part of that is true. I am, was, and always have been emotional. And yes, for a space of time, I'd always feel like things were hopeless. But
whether or not I would become negative and pessimistic, I would ALWAYS come back the next day with a new idea and continue to fight. It just took me a space
of time to adjust first.
"Similarly, when Omar chose to not nominate Jeremiah, she asked him to nominate her instead."
I knew I'd have been fairly safe that week. :-\ That wasn't giving up. That was me making the point that I'd rather Omar do it than Jeremiah be able to
later. Omar would have been stupid to do so. And if he had... oh well. At least I knew where I stood with Omar. Instead of half the time not having a clue
on that subject.
"And the week of her eviction, she didn't really fight that hard to stay (from my perspective, at least.)"
So that's how he really saw it?! As that I didn't try hard enough to stay?! I did. The only SLIGHT thing given me as an option was Fantine's 'deal'. And
I've explained in much detail how that wouldn't have worked or benefited me.
So yeah. Now I'm getting annoyed again. And the worst part is, it isn't at all from the person I expected. I was prepared to take shit from Jeremiah. Not
Ed. Jeremiah handled himself in a calm mature manner. Points for that, too.
And then Cecily had to ask THAT question. The last thing I wanted to hear was both of them taking my vote for granted and saying 'Oh, I absolutely think
Sera will vote for Ed', as if I can't possibly vote any way but who I liked better, and couldn't see past that to what they said in their answers. They didn't say that, but the idea was planted in people's heads, all the same.
And at this point... it really isn't a factor anymore. Despite my willingness to chat with people if they want, after the game, call me crazy but I doubt either of them end up being good friends of mine out of this. So this vote will be all about who played the best game.
*Speaking of answers... could someone someday tell me what this means?: "Martin was going to be nominated because of a phone call, but because I discovered
your identity I was able to help him get people to accuse you and keep him off the block."
I can't (or won't) ask for clarification from Jeremiah, because even though several people know that they know who I am, I don't wish to confirm that he was
right, before the finale. But, it makes no sense. What relevance did that have to Martin being nominated? As I had an accusation eraser, the accusations
never meant anything, as I cleared them before I could be penalized. Not only that, but unless Martin was told on the phone 'You'll be nominated unless
you get 2 people to accuse someone..' it wouldn't have done anything to save him. And ... that would be a really RANDOM phone mission.
Who answered my question well? They both did. There were parts of both that I absolutely agreed with. I 100 percent agreed with Jeremiah's first list. I
did subtract a point when he said 'loyalty' was one, when it seemed he hadn't had that much to anyone; offering to accuse Kitty or nominate Martin... but
overall it was a good response. And despite his closeness to Fantine Lena Martin and Jay, I still give the social edge to Ed.
But then, a few things Ed said stood out, too. He was the one to say 'adaptability' - and that is something it definitely does take. "Balance" rang an
enormous bell, because that is what I have often told people about these games. 'If you win too many HOHs, you are a threat and need to go. If you don't
win any, you are too under the radar and need to go... etc.' Nearly every aspect of a game goes that way, and that was just like I had wrote it. And... as
much as it stings to be the ally of the person that admits it... I'm afraid it does take selfishness. That's the aspect I had a hard time with. Both here
and in the other game, for that matter. It's a problem I am having right now as we speak in my TAR game. And it's why I said maybe I am leaving because I'm
not ruthless *enough.*
So who played the better game, really? Who deserves my vote? Did Jeremiah overcome all those strikes after all?
the anger out of me. Temporarily. I didn't want to even do jury statements, because I assumed Jeremiah would take the opportunity to argue with me, and
I didn't want to fight. I said I was reading the answers with an open mind. And I was. More or less. But I also knew that Ed was smart, and that Ed had to
have played a good game to get there, when he had way less in the way of support. I knew it would take an outstanding jury session from Jeremiah and a bad
one by Ed to make a difference. Jeremiah went in with significant strikes against him. A rather irritating character. A seemingly below average social game; (not only myself, but Dom, Cecily, Ed, and people as far back as Hero and Colin weren't happy with his conversations.) The fact that I couldn't see that he had really done much other than attach himself to the first alliance he saw online. And he wasn't even that loyal to them; offering to accuse Kitty and nominating Martin even well before he learned Martin had final 2's with Ed and Jay both.
Combine that with the fact that I had been told that, last season, his jury answers were pretty much less than impressive, and honestly, whether I planned to vote on game play or not, there wasn't a BIG chance I'd waver. Was there?
But, overall, Jeremiah had great answers. I underestimated him a great deal. And I know he had a game plan, a strategy. Maybe it wasn't the strategy I'd have
purposely chosen coming into the game, (although it did end up being similar to what I ended UP with... haha) but it was there. Massive points for the
answers. Other than using wayyyyy too many letttters and saying 'deffo' both of which made me cringe, the entire game; he barely resembled the airheaded
bitch of a character that I battled here. And in a way that wasn't fake or sucking up, which I would have hated and would have totally out of character.
Not only that, but even though I didn't LIKE it that he won the battle against me.. he did. And maybe, I should reward that.
Ed, meanwhile, lost a few points in a couple of his answers. My most frustrating moment in this game, possibly, was the week of the posting HOH. I felt
completely unable to do anything, for an HOH I really wanted and needed. I stayed around for a good part of the weekend, in case. And Omar was outgoing HOH,
Dominic wasn't able to compete and Cecily had no computer. Ed was all I had. And he purposely kept me from winning. I still had ways to save myself that
week, and people that cared to keep me. So I didn't go. But at the time I felt sure that I would have. I had justified the move of Ed bringing Fantine back,
exactly the way he explained it. Omar might turn on him, and it would keep Dom and myself closer to Ed. But that? That stung. Not only that but it made his
comments that his goal the week Fantine came back was 'to keep Sera safe' make no sense. Since he kept me from winning on purpose, giving Jer the ability
to nominate me. That was the week the HOH nominated three people, so he can't tell me it benefited him, either, as I wouldn't nominate him OR Cecily, AND
Jeremiah would have been my target, not his new ally Martin. So, yeah. That's hard to take.
I'd also like to state here that his comments on my game play downright irritated me. I have no doubt that Ed LIKED me a lot more than Jeremiah did. And
that's great. But, by going on and on and on about how flawed my game was, it is clear that he didn't have a lot of respect for me as a player. And he
posted that publically, so that HIS perspective is the one left in everyone's minds.
"When things didn't go her way, she got emotional and would almost give up instead of continuing to fight."
The first part of that is true. I am, was, and always have been emotional. And yes, for a space of time, I'd always feel like things were hopeless. But
whether or not I would become negative and pessimistic, I would ALWAYS come back the next day with a new idea and continue to fight. It just took me a space
of time to adjust first.
"Similarly, when Omar chose to not nominate Jeremiah, she asked him to nominate her instead."
I knew I'd have been fairly safe that week. :-\ That wasn't giving up. That was me making the point that I'd rather Omar do it than Jeremiah be able to
later. Omar would have been stupid to do so. And if he had... oh well. At least I knew where I stood with Omar. Instead of half the time not having a clue
on that subject.
"And the week of her eviction, she didn't really fight that hard to stay (from my perspective, at least.)"
So that's how he really saw it?! As that I didn't try hard enough to stay?! I did. The only SLIGHT thing given me as an option was Fantine's 'deal'. And
I've explained in much detail how that wouldn't have worked or benefited me.
So yeah. Now I'm getting annoyed again. And the worst part is, it isn't at all from the person I expected. I was prepared to take shit from Jeremiah. Not
Ed. Jeremiah handled himself in a calm mature manner. Points for that, too.
And then Cecily had to ask THAT question. The last thing I wanted to hear was both of them taking my vote for granted and saying 'Oh, I absolutely think
Sera will vote for Ed', as if I can't possibly vote any way but who I liked better, and couldn't see past that to what they said in their answers. They didn't say that, but the idea was planted in people's heads, all the same.
And at this point... it really isn't a factor anymore. Despite my willingness to chat with people if they want, after the game, call me crazy but I doubt either of them end up being good friends of mine out of this. So this vote will be all about who played the best game.
*Speaking of answers... could someone someday tell me what this means?: "Martin was going to be nominated because of a phone call, but because I discovered
your identity I was able to help him get people to accuse you and keep him off the block."
I can't (or won't) ask for clarification from Jeremiah, because even though several people know that they know who I am, I don't wish to confirm that he was
right, before the finale. But, it makes no sense. What relevance did that have to Martin being nominated? As I had an accusation eraser, the accusations
never meant anything, as I cleared them before I could be penalized. Not only that, but unless Martin was told on the phone 'You'll be nominated unless
you get 2 people to accuse someone..' it wouldn't have done anything to save him. And ... that would be a really RANDOM phone mission.
Who answered my question well? They both did. There were parts of both that I absolutely agreed with. I 100 percent agreed with Jeremiah's first list. I
did subtract a point when he said 'loyalty' was one, when it seemed he hadn't had that much to anyone; offering to accuse Kitty or nominate Martin... but
overall it was a good response. And despite his closeness to Fantine Lena Martin and Jay, I still give the social edge to Ed.
But then, a few things Ed said stood out, too. He was the one to say 'adaptability' - and that is something it definitely does take. "Balance" rang an
enormous bell, because that is what I have often told people about these games. 'If you win too many HOHs, you are a threat and need to go. If you don't
win any, you are too under the radar and need to go... etc.' Nearly every aspect of a game goes that way, and that was just like I had wrote it. And... as
much as it stings to be the ally of the person that admits it... I'm afraid it does take selfishness. That's the aspect I had a hard time with. Both here
and in the other game, for that matter. It's a problem I am having right now as we speak in my TAR game. And it's why I said maybe I am leaving because I'm
not ruthless *enough.*
So who played the better game, really? Who deserves my vote? Did Jeremiah overcome all those strikes after all?
